you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
