...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
