I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
