I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
