no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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