dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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