dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
