i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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