i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
