You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
