so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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