I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
