She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
