hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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