Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
