You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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