So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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