it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
this will be a night to untag.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
