Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
