I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
