there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
