Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
