a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
