wanna go halves on a baby?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
