I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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