Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
