You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
