why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
