Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize