At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
