Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
