Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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