I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
