So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
