I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize