We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
