I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
