Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
