So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
