I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
