why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
