Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
