You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
