just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
