porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
