did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
