I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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