stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize