I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think I died a long time ago.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
