It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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