I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
