piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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