their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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