did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize