Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
