this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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