After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
