she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
