its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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