i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
