weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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