Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
