Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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