I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
