Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Im part way to drunk.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
